Date Night

28 10 2013

Or Not

Spritzing on the body spray, I take one last look in the full-length mirror. Oh, forgot earrings. Back a few steps and locate the perfect pair to complement my outfit.

Dressing up for a night on the town happens rather rarely in the life of this lady. After 25 years of marriage, what’s the point?

First of all, I like to dress up and go out. Yes, even if it’s just dinner and a movie, I’ll still put on something special and dedicate extra attention to my hair and makeup.

Rewind 30 years. What was all the hype about dates back then? If you say it was about catching a guy, I’m sad for you.

It was an opportunity to get to know each other. Maybe we just wanted to have fun.

In my mind, those dates were an opportunity for a guy to show me that I was valued. He spent time deciding where to go, maybe making reservations. Over dinner, conversation about mutual interests flowed (or if it was all about him, there was no second date).

On the flip side, I showed my appreciation for his efforts by complimenting him. Nerves and expectations juxtaposed to make every moment like skating on thin ice. Who knows what will make it crack? The freeze follows.

I suppose the men don’t want to date us once we’re married because they don’t want the hassle. They ask what we want to do and we say, “Whatever you want is fine with me.”

Thin ice.

I know my husband values me. He washes and vacuums my car and makes sure it’s in perfect running condition. Planning a date night – not so much.

I think we should take the pressure off.  How? Get rid of expectations.

Recently, my husband took me to dinner at a restaurant about 30 minutes from home. I spent 30 minutes or so choosing an outfit, flat-ironing my hair and putting on makeup. Yes, I even added a spritz – or four – of Heavenly and a pair of corresponding earrings.

He threw out two options. I told him to choose. I didn’t bring up the subject again. No expectations. How can he make the wrong choice? Of course, if either of the options were less than appealing, I should have made the decision. If I leave it up to him, I have no recourse. Translation: sit down and shut up.

I suggested a walk around the mall across the street after dinner. It was mostly deserted. We bought two things. The dinner was three times as much as the mall purchases.

After driving home, I threw my sweats on and we watched a movie in our bonus room. I say it was a successful date night. Why? Because we relaxed our expectations for the good of the outing.

We’ve been married for too long for him to have experienced any nervousness. He probably didn’t even consider a good night kiss. Until he was next to me in bed, that is.

Are you a proponent of date nights for committed couples? What suggestions do you have to make them more effortless (without seeming devalued)?

Advertisements

Actions

Information

2 responses

1 11 2013
Deborah

I’ve been married for only three years so usually people say we are in the honey moon stage lol
However, date nights are important to my husband and I. I did learn to just go with the flow of things and not force it. I used to think it had to be the most perfect, romantic, like in the movies, sort of date. Now, we just enjoy each others company no matter where we go. 🙂

1 11 2013
sharonhughson

Deborah-
Dates are important at every point in marriage. Keep making them a priority and the “honeymoon stage” will last much longer than you think.

Share your thoughts here:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




michelle ziegler

In a world of serious, I write an escape

The Life Project

Finding Clear and Simple Faith

Janeen Ippolito - Speculative Fiction Author

Monsters, Misfits, and Mushy Stuff

Through the Gate

with Joe and Cathleen Parks

Roane Publishing Blog

Without authors, there'd be no publishers.

Raw Moments with a Real God

Being Transparent with an Intimate God

Chad Pettit

Writing, walking with God, and the pursuit of a well-deserved nap.

Becky Bean Writes

The Blog of Becky: How Not to Live Your Life

Bex Book Nook

Where books like to hang out.

Wendy Sparrow

Where all books have a happily ever after...

The Machenwood Chronicles and Other Tales

A site for writers and readers

Kait Nolan

love . empowerment. hope

J. Rose Books

Synchronicity...explored

Jennifer M Eaton

Author, Weaver of Tales

The Mom Pages

Sharing The Mom Life One Page at a Time

Kelly Roberts Writing

Cooking with bubble wrap

YA Chit Chat

The Ponderings of YA author J. Keller Ford

Melissa Kircher

The official site of Melissa Kircher

%d bloggers like this: